So many time people come to us to lose weight, get strong, get fit etc. believing that if they achieve this then they will be happy. Others put the value on if they become rich or buy a house, car etc. the will be truly happy. The fact is though, happiness needs to come from within. You will never be truly happy if you rely on external factors to make you happy. You will spend your life searching for that magic something, which has always sat right inside your heart the whole time. If only you look there.
Especially in this industry, I often see people that are not happy because they do not like the way they look, their weight, the way their clothes fit, how they feel when they walk because they may be carrying a bit of extra weight, mobility problems or an injury, or other self-conscious factors. They forget to consider all the intangible things that make up who they are internally.
Your happiness does not rely on your weight, how you look, or even how you move. It relies on what sort of person you are, and whether or not you love, or even like that person.
If I go by my appearance, I have been everything from anorexic, to 30kg overweight, a body builder with only 4% body fat, an average weight, and a little above average, which is where I sit now.
Am I happy? Yes. Do I like myself? Yes. Do I love myself? Yes. Have I always? Yes. Even when I was in my deepest depression and tried to commit suicide.
Why? Because I know inside, regardless of how I look, I am the person I want to be. I am kind, loving, respectful, honest, loyal, not judgmental, unbiased, generous, and always try to help and not hinder. I live in accordance with my core values; the traits, I just listed.
So, if I was always happy, how was I depressed? My depression didn’t come from who I was; it came from who others were towards me. How I felt in their presence and as a result of their behaviour. I punished myself, because I couldn’t punish them. Stop and think; if you are not happy, who are you not happy with?
Would I like to be leaner right now? Yes. But I would also like to be sitting in the sun on a Greek island. So, should I not like myself and not be happy simply because I am not on a Greek island? Ludicrous. Just as not being happy just because I am not as lean as I would like to be right now, is ludicrous.
Focus on ‘who’ you want to be rather than ‘what’ you want to be. Not only is that much more important, it is also more valuable. And you have 100% control over that.
Think about what your core values are. Are you living in line with your core values? If you are not, that’s where your change needs to start. Not on dieting, or exercise, or killing yourself for the next promotion. Start with living in line with your core values. If you say one of your core values is kindness, and you are not kind to yourself, you are not living in line with your core values. Same goes for all your values!
“Charity starts at home!” It is time to start with YOU. Only then will you be truly happy.
If you would like help living in line with your core values, so you can be truly happy with yourself, shoot me a message. Our team of coaches can help and are qualified in Mindset Coaching.
– Coach Terri